Hi,

This week’s newsletter is more of a personal one from me.

It’s about chasing external validation in the music industry and how much of my career I spent chasing it before realizing it didn’t mean what I thought it did.

Let's dive in ⬇️

Over the last few weeks, I've found myself having conversations with some of my peers that all have a similar throughline.

We were reflecting on how our perspectives have changed while working in the music industry, specifically around seeking external validation.

To some degree, the music industry is built off of external validation and metrics.

Without sounding dramatic, so much of what we aim for and the goals we set every day as a business are a form of external validation or reassurance.

These are essentially entities, institutions, and markers designed to hold the benchmark for what success looks like. The industry has, in many ways, morphed around that success to associate our worth. In some ways, it’s actually very easy to lose sight of why we got into music in the first place (if it was for the love of helping artists) when we’re constantly comparing ourselves to others highlight reels on social media and wanting these things to feel enough. It’s easy to forget the whole point of this thing is to help artists, not get recognition.

I remember working in real estate back in 2012 and reading Billboard Power Players - to me, it was the who's who of music. I would study the professionals on that list and use it as a networking tool to try and build connections with those I thought were successful. As someone who dreamed of working in the music industry and was trying to find a way in, the idea of being on a list like that was the highest form of validation I could picture.

Once I got my foot in the door and started working in music, for the first year or two I was pretty much in awe.

I get to do this for a living?

Like…I actually get paid to do something I would do for free?

I get to help artists pursue their dreams?

So many nights I'd be sitting on the bus from Port Authority Bus Terminal in NYC back to New Jersey filled with gratitude and reflecting on what had happened that day. I was blown away by the fact that I worked in the music industry and was very much just "happy to be here".

Fast forward a few years, and my career progressed. I'm a few years in, have a few wins under my belt, and somewhere along the way, I became consumed with the idea of wanting to feel recognized.

By my peers, by publications, by people in general…

I became obsessed with getting on Billboard Power Players, HITS Daily Double Noisemakers, and similar industry publications. Simply doing the work wasn’t enough.

I felt like I NEEDED to be on those lists to feel accomplished and like I was doing something. This is going to sound insanely superficial…but I also knew that part of the value of those things is the actual post on your own socials and announcing it to people. For a window of time, I wanted that feeling.

Shit…if I'm being real, as embarrassing as it is to write this lol, I craved it.

If I saw someone who I thought wasn't working as hard as me or seemingly accomplishing less receive those accolades, it bothered me.

Why wasn't I on those lists?

I wanted to feel like I had some sort of recognition and that those things could define and confirm that my work meant something (maybe even that I meant something?)

If I'm being real (now I have more self-awareness to realize what was happening), I was subconsciously hoping for the dopamine spike that would hit when posting it and getting feedback from my peers.

At some point, I was fortunate enough to earn my first plaque (I think it was for Flipp Dinero’s “Leave Me Alone”).

I still remember the feeling of hanging it up on my wall and being elated.

In many ways, a plaque can feel like the physical representation of your output and work in music.

I remember looking at it on my wall and feeling validated. The kid who used to dream about working in the music industry had a plaque! For a few days after, no one could tell me shit lol.

Guess what happened after that?

If you've been reading this newsletter, you can probably surmise that I can get pretty intense and also have somewhat of an addictive personality haha.

One plaque was cool but I needed more. How could I not? I needed more of the dopamine spike and sense of validation and accomplishment that came with it.

Now that I’m older, I recognize how easily it can become a treadmill. Each plaque just resets the bar - the high became my new normal, and then I needed the next one just to feel it again.

For a long time, I chased those things. With each plaque I received (I was blessed enough to receive a few in my career) I felt more validated like my worth was increasing.

Fast forward and I eventually received Noisemakers. Mannnn, I'm embarrassed thinking about it now but I couldn't wait to make that post! lmao. It felt like I had finally made it.

Somewhere along the way though, as I got older, my priorities shifted and I stopped caring as much. I became more comfortable with who I am and less concerned with external opinions.

I found more meaning and purpose in having fun doing the actual work, working with great teammates, and most importantly - being able to help artists and really provide them value. Those things filled the void that external validation had filled.

Doing the work and making an impact had become enough.

What's funny is the more I stopped caring about external validation at work, the more I stopped caring about it in life in general. I found meaning in other things and eventually, lots of gratitude in that.

Now…the point of this newsletter isn't to knock any of those things. There is nothing wrong with wanting or pursuing them - they can be fun, exciting, and feel good.

Where the lines get blurred though is when the absence of those things makes you feel less than, unworthy, or questioning yourself.

If you're an artist or industry professional and you're fortunate enough to receive a plaque or an award, you should cherish it! Truly. You worked hard for it and deserve it.

It can be part of what makes working in music fun and exciting.

Sometimes I'll look at the plaques I have and am filled with gratitude - that a kid who used to dream about working in the music industry was able to find some level of success doing it.

What took me a few years to learn though is that these things don't define you and that the absence of them doesn't make you or your work less than.

Now…I'd be lying if I said that sometimes I still don't subconsciously yearn for some of those things.

The 30 Under 30 ship has sailed lol, but Forbes 40 Under 40? I'd love that…and would be lying if I told you otherwise.

But I'm finally at a point where my worth and value don’t feel tethered to those things.

It took me some time to get there but if you're on a similar journey and have felt similar things, hopefully this was helpful.

Thanks for reading, until next time.

1) Moises — an AI practice app that lets musicians practice songs. Upload any song and it splits out the stems, finds the chords, and lets you slow or speed up songs. It can help chunk a song and drill the hard parts in isolation. More info HERE